Katy Rose Collection: Art, Words
How to Enjoy Individual Time with Each Child
We started this several years ago in the summers and it’s still part of our rhythm. Moms at home with a houseful of young children might enjoy it too.
On weekdays, one child and I take 30 minutes away from everyone else, still at the house, to do something together. The name started out as a joke, “Moments with Mom,” said in a sing-songy way like a radio jingle, and it stuck.
When there are many children in a family vying for one mom’s attention, all parties benefit from some one-on-one time.
Here are a few activities that we’ve done over the years, most several times. Sometimes I give the child suggestions, but often they have our time already planned out.
Lego-building
Magna-tile building
Paint a picture
Bake a treat
Playdough
Draw digital art
Tea Party
Origami
Learn animated drawing on my iPad
Handstands and cartwheels in the front yard
Jump on the trampoline (a frequent request)
Play basketball
Read a book aloud
Sketch
Learn a song on the piano
Play a board game
Paint nails
Play Dolls
Play Store
Create a comic strip
Listen to an audiobook
Play soccer
Create a stop-motion video
In the past, I’ve tried to make this a screen-free time, mainly because I fear if watching something was an option that’s all they would choose! I’ve adjusted this for the older ones now as they might want to look up certain videos they are interested in and we have fun watching a short something together.
A few practical thoughts on making this sustainable:
Typically, I only do one Moments with Mom per day, total. So ideally, in our family each child gets one time per week.
I set a timer for 30 minutes. This might seem insensitive at first, but I’ve found it’s a good thing. When I’ve gone over, things in other parts of the house can start getting out of hand. Also, if I subconsciously feel like this is a major hours-long undertaking, it’s harder to mentally fit it into the day. You might even need to start with 15 minutes instead of 30. This will largely depend on the capacity of the other children in the house to occupy themselves. (Also, when the timer signals that Moments with Mom is over, it’s the bad guy, not me!)
When we used to do this with four much younger ones, it was HARD to manage, but we stumbled through and I continually saw how it was worth it. I tried to set the others up for success by having them all play in a room with the oldest “in charge” or having them all play in the backyard while I watched from the window as I had time with the fourth. If sitting everyone else in front of the TV to keep them in one place feels like the only option, I’ve utilized shows that are maybe a little less enticing, like a nature show or something educational. Easier for the fourth child to pass on, but still captivates a young, otherwise into-everything audience.
This is not meant to be a stressful burden, but a blessing! When days are missed, as they often are, we just pick back up again in a few days with the next person in line. Rather than constantly feeling I’m struggling to fit everything in for everyone, I know there’s an upcoming time slot for it, which relieves an emotional burden.
Moments with Mom will be one of those memories I will really cherish from my children’s childhoods. Just the other day one of them asked when we were going to start back up again for the summer, so I think they will too!
Friday Hymn: Safe in the Arms of Jesus
SAFE IN THE ARMS OF JESUS
-1868-
Words by: Fanny J. Crosby
Music by: William H. Doane
Our family was talking about Fanny Crosby as we walked around old NYC streets last weekend, as she was a former resident too. Fanny was a prolific hymn and poetry writer, and was blind. It’s hard to imagine how she managed such a place without sight. Yet instead of focusing on her own lack, she lived the last 30 years of her life there in one of the poorest neighborhoods in order to serve people who were desperate and diseased. During that time, in the 1870s, she wrote the well-known “Blessed Assurance” and poignantly, “All the Way My Savior Leads Me.”
Another of her hymns was this touching one, which she said was for the bereaved, especially for mothers who had lost children. Fanny herself had lost her only baby years before and rarely spoke of it. These words were dear to her and many others. A pastor of a NYC church told her that it had given more “peace and satisfaction to mothers who have lost their children than any other hymn I have ever known.”
SAFE IN THE ARMS OF JESUS
Safe in the arms of Jesus,
Safe on His gentle breast,
There by His love o’ershaded,
Sweetly my soul shall rest.
Hark! ’tis the voice of angels,
Borne in a song to me,
Over the fields of glory,
Over the jasper sea.
Refrain:
Safe in the arms of Jesus,
Safe on His gentle breast,
There by His love o’ershaded,
Sweetly my soul shall rest.
Safe in the arms of Jesus,
Safe from corroding care,
Safe from the world’s temptations,
Sin cannot harm me there.
Free from the blight of sorrow,
Free from my doubts and fears;
Only a few more trials,
Only a few more tears. [Refrain]
Jesus, my heart’s dear refuge,
Jesus has died for me;
Firm on the Rock of Ages,
Ever my trust shall be.
Here let me wait with patience,
Wait till the night is o’er;
Wait till I see the morning
Break on the golden shore.
A Springtime Reminder
I once heard a seasoned mom say, “If the walls are closing in on you, take the walls away.”
Go outside!
A few notes on the outdoors and motherhood:
In the early years of motherhood with a house full of little boys, getting outside not only felt sanity-saving, but it ended up creating some of my best memories. And bonus, it formed nature lovers. This family rhythm is still going strong, whether it's the backyard, the neighborhood pond, or a daily walk.
(Additionally, all the time in nature directly guided my art and writing, even creating the theme for my next children’s book. Don’t ever believe that focused motherhood for a season has to detract from other dreams and goals in their right timing. I have found it has clarified my vision and focus all the more).
Each of our children spent hundreds of hours in the stroller walking the neighborhood in the early morning. We talked about the trees and birds and stray cats and clouds. Wow. Can you believe God is so creative? Isn’t this incredible? (Or strange!)
In addition to walks, there were visits to every park, hiking trail, and nature preserve I could locate. Still are.
When times were tight, it was free entertainment.
When we were working hard to minimize stuff inside, it was a stuff-free pastime.
Nowadays, there are inspiring and informative websites and podcasts like 1000 Hours Outside that will have you running outdoors before the end of the episode!
It was always my goal and preference not to allow screens to steal those precious bonding and learning moments in the strollers, aside from music and the occasional children’s audio book. We offer our kids a gift when we teach them to look around and notice.
Of utmost importance: Nature excursions with children will always result in found treasures! We’ve kept a few special dishes or trays permanently out in the house to display these wonders. After 15 years, our tiny exhibits are still showcasing new finds all the time.