How to Enjoy Individual Time with Each Child

We started this several years ago in the summers and it’s still part of our rhythm. Moms at home with a houseful of young children might enjoy it too.

On weekdays, one child and I take 30 minutes away from everyone else, still at the house, to do something together. The name started out as a joke, “Moments with Mom,” said in a sing-songy way like a radio jingle, and it stuck.

When there are many children in a family vying for one mom’s attention, all parties benefit from some one-on-one time. 

Here are a few activities that we’ve done over the years, most several times. Sometimes I give the child suggestions, but often they have our time already planned out.

Lego-building 

Magna-tile building

Paint a picture 

Bake a treat

Playdough 

Draw digital art 

Tea Party

Origami

Learn animated drawing on my iPad

Handstands and cartwheels in the front yard

Jump on the trampoline (a frequent request)

Play basketball

Read a book aloud

Sketch

Learn a song on the piano

Play a board game

Paint nails

Play Dolls

Play Store

Create a comic strip

Listen to an audiobook

Play soccer

Create a stop-motion video

In the past, I’ve tried to make this a screen-free time, mainly because I fear if watching something was an option that’s all they would choose! I’ve adjusted this for the older ones now as they might want to look up certain videos they are interested in and we have fun watching a short something together.

A few practical thoughts on making this sustainable:

Typically, I only do one Moments with Mom per day, total. So ideally, in our family each child gets one time per week. 

I set a timer for 30 minutes. This might seem insensitive at first, but I’ve found it’s a good thing. When I’ve gone over, things in other parts of the house can start getting out of hand. Also, if I subconsciously feel like this is a major hours-long undertaking, it’s harder to mentally fit it into the day. You might even need to start with 15 minutes instead of 30. This will largely depend on the capacity of the other children in the house to occupy themselves. (Also, when the timer signals that Moments with Mom is over, it’s the bad guy, not me!)

When we used to do this with four much younger ones, it was HARD to manage, but we stumbled through and I continually saw how it was worth it. I tried to set the others up for success by having them all play in a room with the oldest “in charge” or having them all play in the backyard while I watched from the window as I had time with the fourth. If sitting everyone else in front of the TV to keep them in one place feels like the only option, I’ve utilized shows that are maybe a little less enticing, like a nature show or something educational. Easier for the fourth child to pass on, but still captivates a young, otherwise into-everything audience.

This is not meant to be a stressful burden, but a blessing! When days are missed, as they often are, we just pick back up again in a few days with the next person in line. Rather than constantly feeling I’m struggling to fit everything in for everyone, I know there’s an upcoming time slot for it, which relieves an emotional burden. 

Moments with Mom will be one of those memories I will really cherish from my children’s childhoods. Just the other day one of them asked when we were going to start back up again for the summer, so I think they will too!