Availability

I love reading about Jesus’s life of care and compassion. His leadership style is fascinating.

During his lifetime he constantly made himself available to those in need around him. He took moments away by himself to rest and pray, but even then folks sometimes followed him. He had compassion on them. He didn’t tell them to go away, but instead spent time with them. He knew that the people needed to know Love and Forgiveness. He knew that He had LIFE to offer.

This availability and compassion inspire me in parenting. But they also teach me about His attentiveness and kindness towards me. He is always available to restore in weariness and weakness and emptiness. Always.

How We Climb

Never stops running. Unless he's climbing. Which keeps life fun and exhausting.

Trees feel magical to kids, and adults if you’re like me. I remember hours spent with my sisters and friends in our kid-made treehouse growing up. Now my children and their neighbor friends spend hours each week in our tree out back. They sit on branches and call them their rooms, assigning each new friend an area. They have raked out a little path leading to the tree and lined it with sticks. They hang like possums.

And it seems wherever we are, they gravitate towards trees and jump right up to climb. They like to go high. And for the most part, I let them.

Instead of being fearful they might fall, I’ve decided to just try and teach them to spot the healthy branches to climb.

Though not perfect, they’re getting a lot better at this. Instead of pausing to rest on a cracked limb with no leaves or a scrawny twig that won’t hold their weight, they look for the strong ones.

This is what I want for them in life too. I want to let them be brave and go high and take risks and work hard. They will have missteps and fall and experience pain, but I don’t want to keep them from that by making them stay on the lowest branches two feet off the ground, or not letting them climb at all. I want to teach them how to navigate the tough stuff.

And most importantly, I want them to rest on the strong and healthy One. No cheap imitations that crumble under weight.

I have felt God kindly invite me to persevere and climb higher in situations that I previously feared or felt were too difficult for me. He’s taught me how to navigate and how to stand in the midst of uncertainty. I’m learning how to cling to Him when things are shaky.

A few days ago I was out running the neighborhood with the babies in a stroller and an older son on his bike beside me. He was pushing himself to go faster and harder.

He said,  “Look, Mom, I’m getting stronger!” Then, “Does it always hurt when you’re getting stronger, Mom?”

Yep, bud. Pretty much.

Pain is usually required to grow in strength. I've been feeling it and I know it's true.

An athlete doesn't build muscle by sitting around and wishing for muscle or reading about it. My kids won't build physical and emotional and spiritual endurance and fortitude if I forever keep them on the lowest branches, literally and metaphorically.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Those words are from the book of Isaiah and I love them. In my weakest moments, they’ve proven true. Strong branches in a tall tree.

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When “It’s just a season” Doesn't Cut It

I really, really enjoy being with my kids. I think they are wonderful and I tell them so often.

I cherish these days.

Except when they are fighting or complaining, or screaming because they are a baby, or when all four are talking/yelling at me at once or when someone regresses in their sleep habits, or hits their brother….and then I don’t cherish that so much. That’s just hard. But hard isn’t always bad.

I told my husband recently that within an hour’s time during the day with our children I can go from a euphoric, “Life couldn’t get any better than this!” to a despairing, “How am I going to survive this?!” and they are both completely legitimate and true feelings in the moment. Anyone relate?

I know, it’s a season. Babies don’t keep. The mealtime manners will improve and they will one day want to get up at noon rather than 5:15am, and perhaps they’ll even do their own laundry.

My husband did the bedtime routine with all the kids the other night because he is my hero, and I went out running.

The lyrics to this song as I ran were so good after a difficult stretch of afternoon with a couple of my little ones. I wasn’t upset with them, I was frustrated with my own heart’s response to them. (click play for song)

"Here's my heart Lord

Speak what is true

'Cause I am found,

I am Yours

I am loved,

I'm made pure

I have life,

I can breathe

I am healed,

I am free

Here's my heart Lord

Here's my heart Lord

Here's my heart Lord

Speak what is true"

And I remembered once again that I don’t want to just survive through a season with hopes of something easier in the future. Seasons ebb and flow and come and go but there is no promise that while I’m here on earth that I will move into an easy, smooth-sailing stretch. Some things will get easier, but other things will become more difficult.

Since my older boys were very little I have quoted these words from Jesus, “I have told you these things so that in me you will have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart. I have overcome the world.”

There’s no keeping them from hardship, so I want them to know where to go when it comes.

I can offer God each day, each moment. Here’s my heart Lord. Speak what is true.

These foundations remain unchanging and, at the end of the day, it’s really all I need: I am found, I am yours, I am loved, I’m made pure.

I have life, I have can breathe, I am healed, I am free.

And the even more encouraging piece for me is next in the song:

“Cause YOU are strong, You are sure

You are life, You endure

You are good, always true

You are light breaking through.”

That’s powerful. God is unchanging, with love more faithful than the rising sun.

So, be it a season, or just be it life, I find the best and truest peace and rest and JOY only in Him, despite the circumstance. And that’s a lot more comforting to me than waiting around for the season to change.

P.S. Did I mention my husband is my hero? He is. Marriage isn't perfect. It is sacrifice and humility and apologizing and forgiveness. Over and over. And there is no one else in the world I'd rather do all this with. We only grow closer as we navigate these ever-changing seasons together. I love life with him.