Dwelling

I think it was in the tiny apartment on the troubled block when I first began thinking about the idea of dwelling. The neighborhood had a higher crime rate than any I’d ever lived in and, I confess, I cried on move-in day. We hauled our boxes up the stairs, no elevator, past the wild-eyed woman who sat on them all day, past the guy who dealt the drugs another floor up. I wasn’t calmed by the sound of gunshots in the street at night, nor by the loud fights in our stairwell.

And what I began to think about was how out-of-control circumstances can feel suffocating, except when we live with an in-control God. We can live somewhere or through something, while we simultaneously dwell in the shelter of the Most High, as Psalm 91 says. It says the person who dwells in the true shelter finds rest in that refuge.

Despite the rats and roaches, we painted the walls, hung homemade curtains, and our 400 sq ft began to feel like home (and a penthouse compared to our previous 250 sq ft). We had our reasons for choosing this block, and in time we found there were even more. Hard things that changed us, I hope. It was also a training ground for some strengthening we’d need a few years down the road in a different neighborhood.

Circumstantial changes can be really good in hard seasons, but they’re not always possible or occasionally not even right. But the peace of God transcends circumstance. It must, and it does because He says He’s near to those who seek Him and abide in Him.

Within a few years, we brought home our first baby, introducing him on the way up to the wild-eyed woman on the stairs, now a friend with a name. And a while after that, I cried when it was time to move out.

The Art of Hidden Work

Imagine all the hard-working people it took to construct this gorgeous old church... those who were visible every day with hammer and nails, and those who were working behind-the-scenes to make the work possible.

We stumbled upon it while traveling out in the country on Mother's Day, perched on sloping fields with serene views. According to the sign, German settlers built it 100 years ago.

I love discovering hidden gems and getting a glimpse into their history. Same with people-- I'm so encouraged by stories of those who serve and love diligently and faithfully outside of the spotlight.

Inside that church, I'm sure they read the same verse that I've had posted in my kitchen for several weeks now: "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends."

The essence of mothering is laying down our lives. And I am more and more convinced that this is true: A life poured out is a life filled up.

We are often scared of hidden work because we fear no one will see us, know our struggles, understand our sacrifice.

There is no doubt a time and place for the spotlight, but I think we might be surprised one day to find that perhaps the best rewards are earned behind-the-scenes. It feels hidden, but someone always sees. Always. (see Matthew 6:1-3)

Behind-the-scenes service is beautiful and significant, especially in an age where we're tempted to post and share every good deed we do.

I think of my own Mom (pictured here with baby me), and her years and years of behind-the-scenes work. That is priceless to me. She's lived sacrificially and always present for her children. She has never been one seeking the spotlight, but humbly serving where she's needed. That has been such a gift for her children to see. I've seen her honored by others throughout the years, not because she has ever promoted herself, but because others see the hidden work, and they see the fruits of her labor.

For all who are living behind-the-scenes (mothers or not!), working hard, serving, loving with all your heart... keep moving forward in Joy and rest in Peace. You are seen.

Things That Bind Us, and Set Us FREE

---Snapshots from a quick 24-hour trip to the coast to visit my husband where he was working. Half the time I was alone with all four little ones at the beach (no time for pictures then!), which was one of the most exhausting things I've ever done, but I lived to tell about it and they had a blast. I've already *almost* forgotten the difficulty, and the memories of the fun are totally winning out.---

FREEDOM has been a theme unexpectedly dominating my 2017. I didn’t set out to explore it, it just keeps hitting me hard as I read through the Bible. 

I see the word freedom thrown around a lot online and such.  I know sometimes we use the word lightly, which is fine, but I'm struck by how often we can be tricked into thinking we've arrived at freedom via some thing or circumstance. Sometimes we count on a sense of momentary freedom which won't last in the long run or through the hard times. We look to things that are limiting, lacking depth and longevity.

True freedom is not attached to a paycheck or health (or supplements & oils) or a house or a spouse or a job or finding oneself.  Those things can be awesome gifts, but they are not ultimate freedom.  People in literal chains talk about FREEDOM because of Jesus, as do people dying from cancer. This year has brought some of the greatest challenges I’ve dealt with, yet the freedom and love of Jesus have been all-encompassing. Freedom is not just for the easy, care-free days.

“Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” (2 Corinthians)

More reflection on freedom takes me in this direction: The freedom Jesus offers allows us to live focused on the life Christ calls us to, not weighed down by what others think. It releases people-pleasers like me from their bondage. True freedom breaks the chains of addiction- whether it's to a substance, pornography, social media, or success. And the way I see it, that freedom is only found in the love of Jesus.

"You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' " (Galatians 5)

And still another way to allow God's freedom to change us: When we take what the Bible says and morph it into our own list of rules or opinions or oppressive guidelines, that’s not freedom in Christ. That’s living like the Pharisees of Jesus’s day, and many religions of today. But when we look at what Jesus taught in love and wisdom and form our lives around HIM, freedom is inevitable. Jesus’s love is breathtaking and I’m astounded by the freedom he offers. See what Paul says in the Bible says about living under the law vs. living as sons and daughters in Galatians 3 and 4. 

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8)

Know Jesus.

Live in His freedom.

Love because of it.