How to Keep Rolling to the Middle
We moved to Hawaii with one suitcase each after we got married and stayed in a dirty, roach-infested hostel called the Banana Bungalow until we found an apartment at the Coconut Inn. All our furniture was used and free. I bought an old frame and candle from the thrift store to make it home. Our neighbors became close friends and often invited us over for dinner since we were basically still children. We trace so many parts of our life now back to that first year in Hawaii. It was full of challenges, excitement, first-year angst, and so much provision from the Lord. Yesterday we celebrated 20 years of marriage. What a gift. I love being married to my husband.
At dinner last night, we reflected on the memories, surprises, and bits of wisdom that we've collected from others along the way. Here are a few lines from early on that come to mind frequently for me:
Elisabeth Elliot quoted an old poet with the line, "Love’s strength stands in love's sacrifice." It's antithetical to culture's creed, but it's a picture of Jesus, and a goal for marriage.
We read the book A Severe Mercy in those early Hawaii days that was deeply impactful in a number of ways. One line the newlywed couple in the book talks about is "creeping separateness," and that has always stuck with us. Resisting the little things that can slowly push people apart.
The book Humility by Andrew Murray is not expressly on marriage, but is so applicable. We can look to the humility of Christ to guide our actions toward each other.
"I want to be free of self-pity. It is a tool of Satan to rot away a life." This line was from a young widow and mother after the tragic event of losing her husband. I love that... free from self-pity! It really does rot away life when we cling to it.
Keep "rolling to the middle." As the chorus from a Sara Groves song says, "All the complicated wars, they end pretty simple. Here, when the lights go out, we roll to the middle." Points to quick forgiveness and choosing each other over and over again.
